The year I took the college entrance exam, I didn't perform well, missing the Tsinghua University cutoff by two points.

Following the adjustments, I enrolled in a 211 university.

Because my family couldn't afford to pay for my extra tutoring.

My failing to get into university almost destroyed my dad, who had been tirelessly nurturing me.

He went completely mad.

He could no longer boast to everyone about how successful his education was.

His facade was cruelly torn apart, making everyone realize he was just a useless man living off his sick wife.

He continued to hit me like usual.

But I had already grown numb.

He would hurl abuse at me, saying that seeing me disgusted him as much as swallowing a fly, and that I should never appear before him again.

Eventually, he started ignoring me completely.

He wouldn't let me have a single bite to eat, nor did he leave me any money.

He would look at me with disdain and ask if someone who failed to get into college had the nerve to eat.

By then, Mom was already very ill with stomach cancer.

We never had money for treatment, so Mom just waited to die at home, clutching her stomach and crying all night long.

There was no food to eat.

My family had no food to eat.

Dad would scrounge here and there outside.

Meanwhile, Mom, my younger brother, and I had no food at home.

Dad said, let me starve to death.

Mom dragged her frail body to call Grandpa, asking him to send money to save our family's lives.

Grandpa sent us 300 yuan.

Mom struggled to take the 300 yuan to the market to buy pork ribs for us.

I clearly remember that day when Mom left, she touched my brother's and my head, telling us to stay home and wait for her to come back and cook pork ribs for us.

We waited eagerly.

But that summer, we neither saw Mom return nor ate the pork ribs.

Mom was carrying the pork ribs when she was hit by a large truck on her way back, her entire body, her entire head was crushed flat, and the blood dragged for ten meters from the truck's wheels.

The truck driver compensated our family with 100,000 yuan.

It went to Dad.

I don't know how Dad felt getting that 100,000 yuan, whether he grieved for his wife or was glad to get the money.

Dad's comment on the matter was, Mom died because of me, driven mad by me, causing mental distraction, and ended up hit by a truck.

At Mom's funeral, Dad made me kneel in front of Mom's coffin in front of everyone, grabbed my hair, and banged my head against the coffin, asking why it wasn't me that died? Why would a useless wretch like me still be alive? Why was I shameless enough to stay alive?

He told me to go down and accompany Mom.

He said Mom died because of me.

I suddenly remembered the look in Mom's eyes, tear-filled, as she watched me eat dumplings when I was ten years old.

It was then that I went truly mad.

He wouldn't let me have a single bite to eat, nor did he leave me any money.

He would look at me with disdain and ask if someone who failed to get into college had the nerve to eat.

By then, Mom was already very ill with stomach cancer.

We never had money for treatment, so Mom just waited to die at home, clutching her stomach and crying all night long.

There was no food to eat.

My family had no food to eat.

Dad would scrounge here and there outside.

Meanwhile, Mom, my younger brother, and I had no food at home.

Dad said, let me starve to death.

Mom dragged her frail body to call Grandpa, asking him to send money to save our family's lives.

Grandpa sent us 300 yuan.

Mom struggled to take the 300 yuan to the market to buy pork ribs for us.

I clearly remember that day when Mom left, she touched my brother's and my head, telling us to stay home and wait for her to come back and cook pork ribs for us.

We waited eagerly.

But that summer, we neither saw Mom return nor ate the pork ribs.

Mom was carrying the pork ribs when she was hit by a large truck on her way back, her entire body, her entire head was crushed flat, and the blood dragged for ten meters from the truck's wheels.

The truck driver compensated our family with 100,000 yuan.

It went to Dad.

I don't know how Dad felt getting that 100,000 yuan, whether he grieved for his wife or was glad to get the money.

Dad's comment on the matter was, Mom died because of me, driven mad by me, causing mental distraction, and ended up hit by a truck.

At Mom's funeral, Dad made me kneel in front of Mom's coffin in front of everyone, grabbed my hair, and banged my head against the coffin, asking why it wasn't me that died? Why would a useless wretch like me still be alive? Why was I shameless enough to stay alive?

He told me to go down and accompany Mom.

He said Mom died because of me.

I suddenly remembered the look in Mom's eyes, tear-filled, as she watched me eat dumplings when I was ten years old.

It was then that I went truly mad.

I grabbed a pair of scissors in front of me and started stabbing Dad furiously. At that moment, I completely lost it.

Each stab made a bloody hole in him.

In front of everyone, I laughed like a maniac: "Li Jianguo, the one who most deserves to go to hell is actually you! Ten years, for a whole ten years, you, a man, haven't brought a single penny home, making the three of us go to Grandpa's to beg for food!"

"Shouldn't you be in hell?" With the blood-stained scissors in hand and red eyes, I asked him, laughing, "Li Jianguo, you actually knew everything, didn't you? You've always known you're a worthless piece of trash, right? And all you did was bully me and Mom at home, right?"

I held the scissors to my own neck, grinning in madness, telling him, "Come on, stab me. Just come and stab me. I've had enough. I've had enough long ago. Come on, stab me!"

Dad suddenly backed down.

Dad turned and walked away.

I collapsed to the ground, feeling like the whole sky was pressing down on me.

I looked up at the sky.

Mom.

I no longer have a mom.