I saw Su Yanchi's reply on the second day after I arrived in Xinjiang.

At that time, I had just slept in the air of Xinjiang.

Su Yanchi replied to me with one sentence.

【Where are you now?】

I didn't reply, because no matter what he said, I had to leave.

If a person falls into the same pit twice, the result will be very ugly.

Just like me now.

So I must break up and leave him.

But he still found me, even though I didn't reply to that message.

Maybe he checked the flight information with my ID, or maybe someone recognized me in this strange place and posted my picture online, of course, not because of my fame, but Su Yanchi's fame.

Anyway, on the fourth day after I arrived in Xinjiang, he found me.

These four days, I stayed in this homestay, walking around during the day, and chatting with the landlady in the homestay at night.

The landlady is a native Xinjiang person, she can speak some Chinese, but with a bit of an accent, which sounds more cordial.

She introduced me to many beautiful places in Xinjiang, saying that I could visit them if I had time, introduced me to many Xinjiang cuisines, and told me about her experiences in running the homestay over the years.

In these four days, I felt my nerves and brain slowly relaxing.

But all this was disrupted when Su Yanchi appeared.

My nerves tightened again, afraid of being photographed, afraid that the online violence that had not stopped would intensify again.

I faced Su Yanchi with such emotions.

There were cups of milk tea on the table.

As expected, the first thing that happened between me and Su Yanchi was silence.

After a long, long time, so long that I had slowly finished my cup of milk tea.

Su Yanchi finally spoke, he asked me:

"Why do you want to break up?"

The landlady brought me another cup of milk tea and some Xinjiang specialties.

I lowered my eyes and took a sip of milk tea.

"I feel tired."

After saying this, I paused, set down the cup, and looked up at Su Yanchi.

"I feel tired being with you.

And, you gave up first."

Su Yanchi fell silent again for a while before asking me again, "Why?"

Why?

Why did I always feel tired when I was with him? It was because of the quarrels before, what about this time?

I saw through Su Yanchi's thoughts.

"Su Yanchi, can't you see the comments about me online?"

I asked him.

He hesitated for a moment, then furrowed his brows.

I knew what he wanted to say.

He must want to say that he had already responded.

So before he could speak, I preemptively asked him, "Do you want to say that you have already responded?"

Looking at his expression, I knew I was right.

So, I looked at him and continued,

"But all I want is for you to post a response on social media?

"You clearly see how people talk about me online, but you never comforted me, not even a phone call, or told me that what they said is fake, that I love you.

"I just want a little security, is it that hard?"

As I said this, I wanted to say more, to voice all my grievances.

"Or do you also believe what they say online, that I am a petty and scheming person, vain and materialistic, who only cares about myself and not your career?

"With so many people saying it, do you believe it too?"

As soon as I finished speaking, Su Yanchi immediately denied as if he had been provoked.

"No, I don't."

I smiled a bit, with a hint of sarcasm, "Really?"

"Was your response really for me? Or was it to help Chen Ruyu clear her negative image?"

Surely, Su Yanchi himself had not realized that every part of his response about Chen Ruyu exuded a sense of cherishing and protecting.

This had long surpassed the boundaries of ordinary friends.

I didn't want to hear Su Yanchi's response anymore.

I thought I should leave.

I stood up, straightened my coat, and prepared to leave.

But Su Yanchi was determined not to let me go.

He held my hand, forcing me to stop.

I heard him say, "But we are getting married soon."

Upon hearing this, I felt my anger slowly rising, and I asked him, "Soon? When is soon? Are you prepared? Do you really want to marry me? Or are you genuinely willing to marry me?"

"She is your most important partner, your best colleague, an indispensable part of your life and career, then what am I to you?"

I stared at Su Yanchi, he remained silent, his expression starting to become confused after listening to my words.

I looked at him, and finally, slowly said to him, "I am just a burden that you can't shake off because of guilt and responsibility."