My child was born, a boy, nicknamed Dodo.

After the birth of my son, my craving for meat did not diminish; on the contrary, his birth made me frequently recall scenes from my childhood in the mountain village, remember my pitiful sisters, my greedy parents, my brother born with sin, and how I almost followed my sister’s footsteps...

I became increasingly irritable and began to loathe my son more and more.

This aversion manifested in uncontrollable acts of violence towards my young son, and I would constantly regret it afterward.

When Zhang Yu was around, he would always shield Dodo, thus he often bore the bruises from my mindless outbursts.

For my sake, Zhang Yu began planning with Ah Hui to target solitary women in the city.

I did not stop him; I even heard from Ah Hui that Zhang Yu enjoyed torturing them before killing.

Yet, I did not stop him, thinking that I influenced Zhang Yu, just as my parents influenced me.

I was making excuses for my sins.

...

An already perceptive Dodo somehow sensed that the meat Zhang Yu brought back was not right. He often stopped me from eating it, removing meat from my bowl.

I felt increasingly anxious, and finally one day, I struck Dodo, documenting the act with photos as it happened, while Zhang Yu was not at home to stop me.

But once the act was done, I soberly saw Dodo lying motionless on the ground. At that moment, I went mad.

When I came to my senses again, my memory was already distorted.

...

I only remembered myself as a pitiful woman frequently subjected to domestic violence, and my son Dodo lost because of this. I even, in self-deception, went to the police to report it.

But when Zhang Yu returned home, he knocked me unconscious, and upon waking, my phone had been replaced with a new one, and I firmly believed my memory to be true, that I was just a poor soul.

Zhang Yu did not deny me, nor did he reveal the truth of the matter, and I could no longer see him clearly.

By then he had already set his sights on the woman upstairs. Upon accidentally seeing photos in Zhang Yu’s phone, I began to mistake the woman’s dog for my son, often imagining scenes where my son stopped me from eating meat, and even began to fantasize about things that did not exist.

On one hand, I leaned toward my son, believing Zhang Yu wanted to harm me, but the subconscious craving for meat hinted that my son was problematic.

I struggled in a dilemma, but neither side was the truth.

Until I met my high school classmate Guo Li at the supermarket, only then did I realize the world in my mind might not be the whole truth. This was the first time I had doubts.

But by then it was somewhat too late.

Under a series of manipulations by my husband, and vague hints from the granny downstairs, I mistakenly believed my husband was cheating, that I was being abused, and also at risk of being murdered. My subconscious had already dominated me to retaliate.

I found Xiao Zhao and provoked him verbally, making their already fragile relationship even more brittle.

Sure enough, the next day Xiao Zhao came to me.

I reminded her that Zhang Yu had unspeakable secrets, and I was being abused precisely because I discovered these secrets, constantly worried about my safety.

I told her I was a timid woman from the countryside who wanted to fight back but didn’t dare.

I hinted that many stray cats often disappeared in the community; there was no surveillance in the community, making everyday security highly unreliable; the management was poor, with manhole covers beside the flowerbeds often stolen...

I reassured her, saying life was good now and I didn’t want to change it, Zhang Yu had already changed for the better...

As I watched Xiao Zhao’s eyes gradually deepen, her gaze toward me carried a mix of pity, disdain, and arrogance.

I knew the probability of my plan succeeding had already increased.