As I expected, after the scandal of my betrayal blew up, my parents, who hadn't reached out for over half a year, asked me to come home.

Before setting off, I visited Miaomiao for a makeover.

Looking at my face in the mirror, I realized that I didn't resemble my parents much. My cousin Zhao Qiao, however, looked like my mother.

I once wondered, if I looked more like them, would I receive more care and love?

“Miaomiao, there's no need to elongate my eyes anymore. Round eyes look pretty good too.”

Miaomiao agreed and wiped off the partially completed eye makeup.

After finishing my makeup, looking at the familiar yet unfamiliar face in the mirror, I thought I looked much better than Zhao Qiao. Sweet girls are the best! It's their loss if they can't appreciate it.

Just as I was about to leave, Miaomiao stopped me:

“What's the most popular and pleasant song recently? I want to play it in the shop.”

I was momentarily stunned, looking at the hearing aid by her ear.

She touched her hearing aid and continued:

“The music I hear is distorted. Your taste is good, your recommendation must be spot on.”

I quickly recovered and eagerly recommended some music to her. She noted them down on her phone while listening:

“Every time you come here, you’re always unhappy. Next time, I'll play your favorite music. Don't be sad anymore.”

My eyes stung with tears.

Miaomiao can't hear, perhaps music is the most precious gift she can think of in her silent world.

Before leaving, she voluntarily grabbed my hand, her dry and warm touch reminding me of the cats sleeping warmly in the sun at my grandmother’s house.

That cat was the only creature that liked me but disliked my cousin. It would show its belly to me defenselessly but dash away when it saw her.

I thought this warm feeling must be what it’s like to be liked, favored, and chosen.

In an unusually good mood, I arrived home. As expected, my parents weren't there, but I was used to waiting for them, so I didn't mind waiting again.

It was just Zhao Qiao and me at home. We had nothing much to say to each other.

She habitually spoke first to break the silence:

“You made such a fuss this time. Aunt and Uncle will surely be angry. Don't talk back when they scold you, just yield first.”

There she goes again, telling me what to do.

“Mind your own business. If you have the time to spare, worry about yourself more.”

Under my repeated sharp retorts, she finally broke down:

“Fu Ling, I don't owe you anything! Why do you always treat me this way?”

She repeated it over and over as if trying to convince herself.

I laughed and said, “I've never said you owe me anything. We owe each other nothing. So stop acting like you owe me, trying to be my second mom. Actually, you care more about me than my mom does.”

Her eyes reddened, her voice choked with sobs:

“You have a hard time in this family, and you blame me. But do you think I’ve had it easy? I’m always living as a lodger wherever I go.

“Before I came to your home, I was taken in by my uncle's family. Everything was taken from me. If I didn't excel in everything, if I didn't compete with you, what could I do?

“When the gold bracelet was lost that year, you could still justly ask Aunt and Uncle why they suspected you, but I couldn’t sleep all night, wondering if they suspected me. They didn't even ask me outright, I didn't even have a chance to defend myself.

“Do you think I don't get tired? I carefully tried to please everyone just so I wouldn't be kicked out again.”

I never thought I’d see her without her mask. In her, I seemed to see a past version of myself.

“I understand, which is why I beg you, don’t bother trying to please me. If you want to please my parents, don't use me as a medium.

“I also took a slap on your behalf. So for the sake of that slap, please stay away from me.”

She gave a smile that was uglier than crying:

“You look down on me, I look down on myself too. I know Shen Que doesn't like me, he pursued me just for a bet, but I couldn't bring myself to reject him.

“I wished so much that I had the courage to stand up and let everyone know openly that I was his girlfriend when you took that slap for me. But I didn't dare. This isn’t my home. I don't have a home anymore. How could I risk making a mistake?

“You are their biological child but were still neglected for not being good enough. How could I, an outsider, expect any better treatment?”

Her tears flowed continuously as she covered her face, sobbing uncontrollably.

I sighed and sent her my frequently visited psychologist's WeChat contact.

“You’re ill. Go see a doctor. This one is pretty effective.”

After thinking a bit, I added some advice:

“You could try moving out. Go somewhere without my parents and without me. You’re grown up now, capable of living independently. You don't need to depend on or please anyone anymore.”

I suddenly realized how much my parents had failed.

They raised two children who were both so ill that they could only go on living by leaving them.

When my parents came back at night, I unsurprisingly got a scolding.

They belittled me from head to toe, despised my career, and were ashamed of my online exposure.

Dad slapped the table: “You’re a disgrace to our whole family!”

I only mildly replied: “Do people even know I’m your daughter?”

He had never actively introduced me to those uncles and elders. Talking about disgrace was pointless.

After enduring the tirade, I remained calm. We usually ended up fighting, but now I didn't care anymore.

I simply decided to quietly leave tonight and logically decided to come back next year around this time. Even visiting twice a year seemed too frequent.

For my whole life, I have been trapped in the room of family ties, struggling, doubting, self-reflecting there.

Now, I understand. I finally reached the door, turned off the light, and without the dim artificial light, the room was finally empty.