I am Zhou Chang, a senior student.

Looking at the scenery outside the train, thinking of that somewhat unfamiliar hometown.

I grew up in a particularly remote mountain village since I was a child, and Uncle Liu is the head of our village.

My dad... to be honest, we don't get along well.

I also have a younger sister. She died of heart disease when she was one year old.

Before my sister died, our family was quite happy.

Mom went out to do odd jobs, Dad farmed, and I stayed at home to take care of my sister. At that time, although my father was introverted, he often smiled, and my mother also smiled frequently.

Although our family was poor, we were very happy.

Everything started from when my sister was diagnosed with congenital heart disease.

This is a very serious heart disease. Once it is discovered, there is basically no hope of survival. Current medical methods do not have a treatment for this disease.

We can only wait for death slowly, and how long we can live depends on fate, of course, it also depends on how much money your family has.

When my sister got sick, my parents went door to door to borrow money.

Relatives, neighbors, they all lent money.

It is not known who spread the news that my sister's illness couldn't be cured. There were very few people who lent us money.

Just enough to gather a little bit of money.

It was just enough for my sister's daily treatment cost.

My sister only started calling my mom before she died, and the first "mom" that my mom heard was also the last.

After that, my father became even more silent, only knowing to work in the field every day to earn more money.

My mother's mental state was not good anymore, and she stopped going out to do odd jobs.

She didn't comb her hair, didn't wash her face, just sat at home staring blankly at the flower quilted jacket that my sister hadn't put on yet.

When I was fifteen, my mother also passed away, due to mental illness.

I didn't even know what kind of illness my mother had.

I asked my father to take my mother to the hospital, but he didn't go.

He said my mother just had a cold and would be fine with some medication.

My mom didn't say where it hurt, visibly losing weight and not eating, only drinking a bowl of millet gruel every day.

When I urged her to eat more, she said she couldn't eat, curled up in bed, shivering in pain.

I argued with my father like crazy, asking him to take mom to the hospital.

"We have no money."

"Then go borrow, go borrow. If we don't go to the hospital, my mom will die."

"They won't lend."

No matter how much I cried and begged, my father didn't go out to borrow money.

If he didn't go, then I would go myself. I went to the homes of relatives, neighbors, good and bad relationships, I went to all of them.

Knelt on the ground and knocked on the door, begging them to lend me a little money.

When I grow up, I will pay them back double.

I remember clearly that one night, I knocked on every door one by one, and borrowed 320 yuan.

When my mother died, my father didn't shed a single tear.

It was like following a routine procedure: funeral, burial, and gravestone.

Everyone knew that my family was poor, and not many people came to send my mother off, and my father didn't even arrange for them to have a meal.

The next day, my father went to work as usual.

At that time, I realized that my father didn't love my mother at all.

"Ding ling ling." The phone rang, it was the counselor calling me.

"The comments online, was that you?"

"Yes."

"You... " the counselor adjusted his tone, "deal with the family matters quickly and come back to school to await your punishment."

Before hanging up, I heard the counselor say to someone on his end, "This little brat..."