My mom came back early today and was angry to find the door unlocked.
She saw me lying on the bed, struggling to breathe, instead of sitting at the desk studying, which made her even angrier.
She grabbed my arm and pulled me up, scolding me impatiently, "Did you skip night self-study and come back to sleep? Fang Yiqi! Are you crazy?"
My throat felt hot like it was burning, and when I spoke, it was hoarse, "No...I feel uncomfortable, mom..."
My mom ignored my weak voice and started screaming, "The college entrance examination is approaching, soon! Would Chang Jianing come back home to sleep like you? After you're dead, then you can sleep well!"
I said, "It was Chang Jianing who helped me skip class, I really feel unwell."
I struggled to lie back down, but I had no strength in my limbs, and my consciousness seemed to drift off to another world.
So I didn't even realize what I was saying.
This statement fell on my mom's ears and immediately caused a huge uproar.
She began to break down without warning, crying and cursing, "Look, look! What did I say, how could she be sincere in being friends with you? She just wants to interfere with your studies, how could she...!"
All kinds of offensive words and dirty words poured out of her mouth, and the target of her emotional release was Chang Jianing.
My mom grabbed me and told me to study, to write a paper.
She kept opening and closing her mouth, saying, "Chang Jianing has already completed two exam papers at school. You're not as smart as her, if you don't study, it's over for you!"
She magically produced the familiar clothesline pole and started hitting the foot of the bed and my feet with it.
The whipping sound made me curl up and sob softly, covering my ears.
I wanted to disappear, to vanish from this world.
Then there would be no Wang Shiru and Chang Jianing, and no other children from her mouth.
After cursing enough, my mom threw down the clothesline pole and slammed the door as usual.
As always, she gave me the final ultimatum: "If you're not studying by 5:30 a.m. tomorrow, you know the consequences."
That night, I don't know when I fell asleep.
There were all kinds of voices in my head, and in a daze, I dreamed of elementary school, dreaming that year's final exam, where I didn't get first place, I didn't surpass Wang Shiru.
I also dreamed of that year outside KFC, my mom's chair hitting me not on the leg, but on my head.
I also dreamed of the grades in the first grade report card, and my mom's clothesline pole cracking open my head.
I felt like I had died a long time ago, leaving behind this empty shell with no soul inside.
And what had filled the shell again, was my mom's will and personality.
She gave my life a new purpose, to replace her, surpass that distant class, and achieve something that would take other people generations.
Finally become that ideal child from someone else's family.
My body's recovery exceeded my expectations.
At 5:30 a.m., I got up as usual to study, as if the person who was so uncomfortable and almost dying yesterday was not me at all.
When I got up, my mom was making dumplings for me.
Two porcelain bowls were filled with different fillings, one was carrots, eggs, and vermicelli, and the other was pork and corn.
Both were my favorite.
My mom glared at me and said, "You're not sick anymore? You're perfectly fine now, pretending not to want to go to school. If I don't scold you or hit you, will you never move?"
She gave a vivid example, saying I was like a village animal, an old ox or a donkey tied to the front of a cart. If the owner doesn't whip, I'll never move.
I nodded.
She didn't say anything wrong.
Chang Jianing was shocked to see me at school, she pulled me aside and said, "Are you really better? No more discomfort?"
My mom's recovery was more torturous than being sick.
I resumed my usual schedule of studying day and night, long and convoluted articles, and difficult-to-understand problems were nothing compared to my mom.
When we submitted our college choices, Chang Jianing and I applied to the same school.
I got in, and my score was three points higher than Chang Jianing's.
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