Since then, I became very silent.

I lived in intense fear, trembling with anxiety.

I didn't know which of my words would upset my mom.

She said I faked illness to skip school, that the chair leg didn't really hit me.

Two days later, she noticed the large bruises on my calves while I was washing my feet.

My mom apologized to me.

She apologized by making braised pork ribs and shrimp in oil.

She pushed open my room door, her face stern as she shouted, "Come out and eat!"

Is this an apology?

I don't know, maybe it is.

My mom's affection always appeared at strange times.

She had a good sense of timing, showing care and concern whenever I felt wronged or angry.

All my anger and grievances were like being doused with a basin of cold water, then inexplicably turning into endless self-reproach and guilt.

I trembled and limped out of the room.

The braised pork ribs and shrimp on the table emitted white steam, glistening under the light.

But I had no appetite.

I was so scared I felt like throwing up.

But what exactly was I scared of, I didn't know.

I sat across from my mom, eating the shrimp in small bites.

She glanced at me, picking up vegetables with chopsticks as she said, "You will graduate next year, one and a half years left, your last chance is in this one and a half years.

"You must surpass Wang Shiyu, you must make your mom proud."

She seemed to see Wang Shiyu and her mom through me.

Jealousy and resentment, those negative emotions with identifiable names, were in her eyes.

I began to tremble involuntarily.

Fear is actually the most powerful driving force in the world, urging me on relentlessly.

Because if I stopped to catch my breath, behind me would be an abyss.

The gap between Wang Shiyu and me cannot be bridged by just me; it's more between my parents and hers.

And now I have to replace my parents to bridge the generational gap.

The entrance to junior high school is the last exam in elementary school, I'm glad I caught up.

The teacher read the ranking, the first name he called was mine: "Fang Yiqi, total score 298.5, first place."

Wang Shiyu turned to congratulate me, there was no hint of disappointment for not being the first, she smiled and said, "Congratulations, this time you are the first."

I nodded dumbly.

I still remember the afternoon of the math exam, after handing in the paper, I collapsed and sobbed at the desk.

Because I couldn't figure out that geometry problem, I felt like I was doomed, a dead end.

But at this moment, I was surrounded by an unprecedented joy, my heart was "thumping" in my chest, drowning out the teacher's voice in my eardrums.

I got first place, I surpassed Wang Shiyu, I finally stood up for my mom.

I told my mom the good news, she laughed so hard her mouth couldn't close: "Yes, yes, it's all thanks to my education. Without me, could you have achieved first place?"

I was stunned, she continued, "Don't be too happy too soon, your cousin's son has been first place from primary school to high school.

"You only got first place once, there are six years of middle and high school ahead, your road is still long."

Perhaps my joy was too obvious just now. In order to wake me up and prevent me from being complacent, my mom quickly brought up those children from other families.

From the neighbor's children to her colleague's children, this child can do this, that child can do that.

Then in the end, she asked me, "Why can't you compare to others?"

I always thought my only enemy was Wang Shiyu.

Turns out, there is not just one Wang Shiyu in the world, there are thousands and thousands of them.

They are all my enemies.