Four years ago, I decided to have a child.

The reason was simple; Gu Juan seemed to really like children.

When Zhao Qiqi had an abortion before, he got really angry. It was only when I forced him with the threat of suicide that he agreed in the end.

He said he couldn't bear to lose me, not in this lifetime.

I believed him.

So, I wanted to have a child for him.

For four years, I went through countless injections for IVF.

And just yesterday, the doctor told me that we succeeded.

Gu Juan and I are going to have a child.

This was our dream when we were twenty years old—to have a child, preferably a boy, to play basketball with him and protect me together.

If I hadn't seen him at the hospital entrance, hadn't seen Zhao Qiqi, hadn't seen that boy, my dream at twenty would have been fulfilled.

I had a sudden headache, and I squatted on the ground, pounding my head hard.

When the pain subsided, I felt much relieved.

Early the next morning, Gu Juan came back.

"I'm pregnant."

He dropped his room card on the floor.

"What?"

I repeated it again, then stared at his eyes intently, afraid to miss any expression.

He didn't show joy or annoyance, just looked at me calmly.

"That's great," he said.

"Do you really think so?"

He nodded. "Of course."

Then he naturally picked up the room card, took off his coat at the entrance, and walked into the bathroom.

He didn't want this child.

We've been in love for seven years, married for six years. I could understand the meaning behind one look from him.

Why?

Was it because he already had a child?

It must be.

When I was frustrated with not being able to conceive before, he always comforted me, saying that everything happens in its own time.

Were my previous efforts just a joke in his eyes?

He was like an audience below the stage, watching me jump up and down, making a fool of myself. When he was in a good mood, he smiled at me; when he was in a bad mood, he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

I rushed into the bathroom, and he hurriedly turned off the water. "What are you going to do?"

Before I could speak, tears streamed down my face.

Gu Juan grabbed a nearby bathrobe and put it on, then pushed me out forcefully.

"Gu Juan, don't you have a conscience? I have suffered so much to conceive this child, and this is your attitude?"

He picked up a cigarette, lit it, and took a puff. "What attitude should I have?"

As always, whenever I had a breakdown, he remained calm and composed.

"You bastard, you have no conscience, you..."

"Shut up." Gu Juan threw the cigarette on the floor, grabbed my shoulder with a grip so strong that my entire arm went numb.

"Qiao Wan, did I ever say I wanted a child? All of this is your wishful thinking. You wanted to use a child to tie me down, to secure your position. Don't bring me into this bullshit."

He finished speaking and pushed me onto the bed.

I listened to his roar, feeling somewhat dazed. He really hadn't mentioned it before.

"I..." Gu Juan sighed. "I was too impulsive just now. Are you okay?"

I threw a pillow at his face. "You're willing to give Zhao Qiqi five hundred thousand, willing to buy her expensive jewelry. I'm pregnant and you haven't shown any support. Instead, you yell at me?"

These past few years, I've been following Zhao Qiqi's Weibo closely, comparing everything with her.

She's younger than me, has a better figure, and is sweeter-tongued than me.

I can't compare to her in any way, not in the slightest.

So, Gu Juan fell in love with her, had a child with her.

"Why did you give her money? Why did youget angry when she had an abortion?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"Because she was carrying my child," Gu Juan replied calmly. "That child was mine."

I felt a sharp pain in my heart. So, it was all about the child.

"And what about our child?" I asked, tears streaming down my face.

"Our child?" Gu Juan laughed bitterly. "There is no 'our child.' You made that decision on your own. I never wanted a child with you."

The words pierced through me like a knife. I had been living in a delusion, thinking that we shared the same dream.

"But... but I thought..." I stammered, unable to form coherent words.

"You thought wrong," Gu Juan said coldly. "I never loved you like that. You were just a convenience for me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The man I loved, the man I had given everything to, was telling me that I was nothing more than a convenience.

"You used me?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Yes," Gu Juan admitted without hesitation. "I used you to fill the void in my life, to pass the time. But now I'm tired of pretending."

I felt as if the ground beneath me was crumbling. My whole world was falling apart.

"Get out," Gu Juan said, his voice filled with disgust. "I don't want to see you anymore."

I stumbled out of the room, my mind in a haze. I couldn't believe that the man I loved had turned out to be so heartless.

As I walked away, I made a decision. I would raise our child on my own. I would give them all the love and care they deserved.

But deep down, a part of me would always be broken, forever scarred by the betrayal of the man I once thought I would spend my life with.